If You Like Someone, Say It. But Mean it.

I did a bad thing. I slacked off on writing this week. Then again maybe I am being a little to harsh on myself because I’m actually an Analyst. So writing is my hobby and my passion. If I could make a living off it… I totally would. However,  that’s not the point of this post at all. I actually have a topic I wanted to bring up and it is a little different.

I wanted to talk about attraction today. For some odd reason, it crossed my mind. And you know often times we do not give any thought to the things we take for granted.  Remember I like to sweat the small things? But I was reading a reddit post not too long a go and asking What Was The Most Memorable Compliment You’ve Ever Received? reading the comments and the feelings of the users it got me thinking about something.

Why don’t we talk more about complimenting people? Specifically about the importance of it. I mean let’s think about this for a minute. Why wouldn’t you want to compliment someone? In a research study in the Inquiries Journal Olga Yatsenko dives into this topic. To explore what happens to both genders when they’re complimented on their beauty. What Yatsenko finds out and to me it is no surprise, is that  “[…] compliments raise self-perceived attractiveness in all individuals, they do so uniformly across gender lines, and that there is no difference between the self-perceived attractiveness scores between males and females.” In essence we all love compliments about how we look, and it makes us feel good.

And if you think I’m cherry picking and you  want something more hardcore look at the research study titled Social Rewards Enhance Offline Improvements in Motor Skill. It is a mouthful but important to what I am getting at. On the other side of receiving praise and compliments what the researchers of the study discovered is that as the study participants received praise or compliments their performance improved. So you see compliments do wonderful things for the human brain. They help us with image and can even help us do better work. And to be honest it is something we need…but there’s more to it.

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Forgiving Yourself: The Real Challenge

Not too long ago, I wrote about how hard it is to learn to cope with the words people say. How we find ourselves challenged and hurt by things. But something I nestled in there was words about forgiving yourself. Forgiveness in general is sometimes a hard topic to think about. Because at its core it is saying that when someone wrongs you that you accept that it happened but you’re going either move past it or stop feeling angry about something. It is a willingness really. The willingness to just drop everything. Drop all that negativity and accept that it cannot be undone and move on with life.

When you think about forgiveness you think about the things people have done to you. The things that were painful and we still are left reeling from. Maybe it was the man of your dreams and all the disappointments he left you with.  A friend that betrayed you and made you feel small. When forgiveness comes to mind, it usually is what others have done to us. And it is true. People do things that make us harbour such a resentment towards them. That we do have to question it and decide if it is something we need to let go.

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